Opening Doors, making friends
Jo and JoJo met through Opening Doors London’s befriending service, which works to support more isolated older lesbian, gay, bi and trans people across London. The older LGBT people are linked up with a volunteer, who visits once a week or a few times a month. Jo first moved to London in 1959, and they now both live in East London. We caught up with them to find out more about their experiences.
DIVA: What was it like the first time you met?
BOTH: We got on straight away.
JO: There was an instant connection.
JOJO: I spotted Jo through an Opening Doors London video, and I thought, 'Wow, that’s a really fascinating looking person who I want to get to know!' I was excited before we’d even met.
JO: It was good. At the beginning when I first got a befriended – another Jo! – it was because a lot of the time I was starting to be more indoors, and I can’t cope with that. I’m really independent and I like to get out. But through the illnesses, I was in and out of hospital at the time and I couldn't stand it. So when Paul at ODL got in touch, I JUMPED AT IT!
You see each other once a week. What does this mean to you?
JOJO: Unlike some people who have befrienders and don’t see anyone else apart from their befriender, Jo has a lot of other people in her life. Like Shirley from Shirley’s removals who Jo sees a lot and who was in a recent DIVA article! Plus other friends. Jo has always been very independent and that still shines through; she’s inspiring. Jo is a very sociable person who needs something going on every day.
JO: When I started to see JoJo, it was part of breaking the depressing feeling of not seeing anyone for a few days or not doing anything. It’s not that I wanted to stay in. It’s just some days there wasn't any reason to go out.
Where do you like to go out together?
JOJO: We’ll go to Victoria Park together, or The Posh Club in Stoke Newington, which I was volunteering for. Our next date is to help Jo stop smoking, so we’re going to go to the Vape shop together. Probably the most adventurous outing was to The Butch Monologues in Stratford. Some of my friends are involved as creators and I’ve offered them one of Jo’s stories – so we’ll wait to hear about that!
What do you get from your relationship that you don't get from other people in your life?
JO: Well, she’s writing my memoirs! [Laughs] It’s the talking and the connection with what’s going on in the LGBT world. Her telling me things that are going on in Hackney and in London.
JOJO: Not that I’m the queen of the scene! I’ve learnt so much from Jo – what it was like for someone who was so obviously butch living in London in the 1960s and beyond!
JO: I get a lot from JoJo. She fills a hole, the emptiness in my life. And it’s good for me because when she’s gone I can carry on.
JOJO: There’s also an element of family! Jo has met my wife. They got on straight away and met when Jo was in hospital – she’s also quite butch! And she’s met my son. We went out for pizza for Jo’s birthday.
Opening Doors London is a charity supporting older LGBT people in the UK. Find out more at openingdoorslondon.org.uk and support the fundraiser for their befriending scheme at justgiving.com/campaign/giftoffriendship.
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