We might look older, but we don’t ‘feel’ older.”
In parts 1 through 4, Marie C. talked about finding love at 70. Here she and her partner talk about how love is different, even better, late in life.
Brenda said, “I was talking to a [gay male] friend about this topic – love at 70 — and he said, ‘That’s not really interesting; being in love is the same at any age.’” While Brenda and Marie agree that love has no age limits, they do see some differences with love late in life.
Brenda says, “The only time I notice an age difference is with music: sometimes Marie likes different music from what I’m used to.
“I think I’m age blind, but sometimes I see other people looking at us and they see a difference. Once in a while someone takes Marie for my mother, and I don’t like that at all. I think it’s just ignorance – the age difference is not that much that that would be indicated. It’s shocking to me, but it’s on them, on the other people; they’re not aware; they’re not paying attention.”
Marie agrees that such confusion comes from ignorance. “If people see an older man with a younger woman, that’s acceptable, but it’s different with two women.”
Marie says, “As we get older, we don’t feel older. It’s true I might look in the mirror and say, ‘Oh there’s my mother,’ because I see more wrinkles or whatever. But though I look older, I don’t feel older. My standards for presentability are pretty high.
Does Brenda see any advantages to being with an older partner?
She does. “Growing up,” Brenda says, “most of my friends were older. When I was 15, I was involved in a group who were in their late 20 and early 30s, so I was always hanging out with more mature, more adult people. I was doing more adult things, with adults. I never really thought about that till I started dating Marie, but the rapport we have is so good and I think that’s the connection: I’m used to that because I had all those friends who were older than I was, and I fare better with people older than me.”
Brenda appreciates the maturity of her older partner and her relationship skills. “I like it that Marie communicates so well,” she says. “We can talk about anything.”
Early in the relationship, Marie says, she was impressed that Brenda would keep written lists of things to talk about. These days, Brenda says, “I don’t do that so much, but sometimes Marie has a list! I say, Oh boy!”
Marie comments, “Actually, we try to solve things or work issues out right away. So there’s not really a need to make a list. A lot of Brenda concerns have gone out the window. That’s what happens as you get more comfortable.”
Marie and Brenda are celebrating their two-year anniversary in April 2015 – LLL wishes them many more years of long-lived love.