I had the chance to travel with my girlfriend to one of her plays this fall.
Her show was playing in Canada and she had planned to be there for three weeks. I needed to get away and thought a working vacation with my sweetie—and seeing her work in action—would be ideal. I also thought it would be a good test to see how we travel together since I am planning a few apartment swaps next year starting with Paris and Berlin in the spring and I hope for her to join me.
We were both excited. Some of our friends got weird, saying traveling was like living together. No, it’s like traveling together! I found us an apartment swap in a deluxe condo in downtown Vancouver with a couple who wanted to see Brooklyn. After eight or so hours in the air, we arrived at the door of our temporary abode at 3:30 a.m. On the taxi ride in, I scanned the area for coffee shops, anticipating our breakfast meal and coffee. My girlfriend the Playwright had a lot to do in terms of rehearsals, meetings with technical staff and such. I was left to my own devices and spent a lot of time in the various coffee shops in the city writing and working on my computer.
A few days later a good friend of mine came to stay with us for almost a week. Together my friend and I explored the city while my girlfriend went about the business of putting on her show. We saw each other for dinner sometimes and in bed at night, mostly when we were both dog tired. I turned 46 while we were there and the two of them took me to a birthday breakfast—my request. I like breakfast a helluva lot better than dinner.
Our trip went well—we had planned our stay so that we would have two days after the run of her show to frolic. One day was simply resting and hanging out. The other was playing in the West End, the queer, bohemian and otherwise alternative section of Vancouver. We rode a bicycle built for two in Stanley Park. It was path around a sea wall that extended over six miles. My girlfriend is an avid bike rider—she goes over bridges from Brooklyn to Manhattan on a regular basis. I haven’t been on a bike for almost two decades with the exception of a few short rides in Copenhagen this past July.
So, we made it. We had fun, got business done and are still together. I never thought it would be otherwise. Our friends were being so alarmist. We both have our own lives, our own work and we come together when we have the time, energy and inclination. I’m finding more and more that the Playwright and I are mucho compatible and comfortable with each other, communicate well and, by the way, are having fabulous sex and plan to continue to do so!
Meanwhile, a lot of our friends have real relationship issues they are projecting onto us. They need to get a therapist and work out their issues elsewhere, and not on us.