A story about accidental lesbian parenting.
There’s something precious about children—and a teenager, well that’s just another story, and I never thought at 28 I’d be labeled “the teenage step-parent.” My…how far I’ve come in the past couple of years.
It’s amazing to me what life can bring forth. For me, that was an incredible woman with a child. It’s funny because I’ve always said I wanted to have children but I never knew it would come this soon! I can admit I was a part of the “I’ll never date a woman with kids” club. Everyone knows about this both, men and women, and I knew for sure I’d be a member forever. I guess that’s why they say, never say never!
I honestly didn’t have a solid reason as to why I felt this way until I sat down and thought about it. I came up with a few different reasons why.
First off, I think being a parent equates to more responsibility than one has ever had. Not only are you responsible for your day-to-day life; you now have another life in your care. Yes, as the newbie I wouldn’t be labeled the primary parent right away. However, there were things about my lifestyle that had to be adjusted. For example, discussing certain topics that I may deem appropriate but were labeled taboo to virgin ears. This was just one of the reasons I’d joined the club but it definitely wasn’t at the top of the list.
There were other reasons why I said I would never date a woman with children and one of them was the fact there’s something special about being able to have your own child with someone you’re in love with. When you enter into a relationship where children are involved, I believe there is a feeling of being second in that child’s life. You’re competing for them to like you, to accept you, and hopefully one day love you.
Rounding up my in-depth conversation with myself and topping the list was the possibility of drama! This was the last thing I wanted or needed to deal with in my life. Not to say that drama comes with every woman that has a child, but from paying attention to the people around me it seemed this way. I started to ask myself how I would deal with someone’s past relationship issues that may have resulted in a custody battle or the person before me having a problem with me now being labeled the “step-parent.” So many things come into play—time, attention, etc. It’s like playing one-on-one with Michael Jordan: I know I don’t stand a chance.
However, it’s now been more than a year and here I am standing strong. It hasn’t been easy but I’ve learned so much, and not only about being a parent but about myself. Just when I thought I couldn’t do it, me and V have a great relationship. I’m now labeled the second mom!