Let the final season be gay, more gay, and very, very Sookie.
Dear Michael Lombardo, benevolent overlord of HBO,
We, the legions of queer fans, have faithfully followed True Blood for six seasons. We’ve written faerieland fanfiction, shipped everyone from Sookie/Jessica to Queen Sophie-Anne/Antonia and enjoyed the show’s allegorical elements, pointing to vamp-phobia in our real world discussions of gay rights. So it was with a heavy heart that we received the news that True Blood will come to a close after seven seasons. The residents of Bon Temps will be sorely missed.
You have promised to “bring Sookie’s story to a close with heart, imagination and, of course, fun” – and we believe you. But, just in case you find yourselves forgetting your queer truebies out there, here’s a list of our humble requests to help steer you right as you produce the seventh, final season of True Blood.
1. Give Us A Real, Formidable, Preferably Female Big Bad
The creepy, sexy and complex Maryann, secret Maenad and manipulator extraordinaire, was a delight to watch as the Big Bad of season two. She also acted as a unifying force, bringing all the show’s various plots and subplots together. In season seven, how about leaving middle weight baddies like Warlow behind and giving us someone to really scare and challenge the residents of BonTemps? In this final season, doesn’t Sookie deserve a truly worthy adversary, someone who stands for everything she does not? Think strong, iconic character actors like Jessica Lange or Francis Conroy.
2. Go Outside, It’s Pret
Part of True Blood’s hot and heavy tone, as illustrated beautifully by that disturbing title sequence, has always been the small rural town setting of Bon Temps with its woods, rivers and dusty streets. So it’s quite baffling to us fans that of late the show seems to have gone to great pains to take the show out of town and indoors. From the underground compound of the Authority to the industrial buildings that made up Vamp Camp, we’re sick of sterile, man made environments. Take us back to the literal and figurative roots of the wild, wild south.
3. Cast More Queer Actors
In season four we had Fiona Shaw as Marnie, the downtrodden witch gone mad, and who can forget Evan Rachel Wood’s show-stoppingly alluring Queen Sophie-Anne. Last season, lesbian newcomer Jessica Clark was barely given any screentime as kinda-sorta Big Bad, Lillith and still managed to capture the hearts and minds of the queer blogosphere. Why not cast some more queer actors? Amber Heard would make a lovely faerie, Sarah Paulson could fit right in as a Bon Temps waitress and Lily Tomlin would be divine as an ancient, European vampire.
4. Much, Much More Lafayette
If you asked any fan what their favourite moment of the first season was, you’d probably find the most common answer was Lafayette’s triumphantly fabulous and right-on treatment of homophobes at Merlotte’s – the infamous “Aids Burger” speech. Since that moment, the fan-favourite character went from strength to strength, with highlights including his illegal activities, his beautiful romance with Jesus and the introduction of his afore-to-untapped magical abilities. Since Jesus’ death though, Lafayette has mostly been used like a cosmic telephone when a dead person needed to be yelled at. How about giving him a heftier storyline this season? And maybe a new love to bat those long, long lashes at?
5. Let Tara Be Happy
Ever since the very first episode of True Blood, when Tara was fired from her job, abused by her mother and overlooked by her crush, she has been consistently miserable. It is probably the show’s greatest constant and, while nobody can tug our heartstrings like Rutina Wesley, we think it might be time to give her a break. Tara almost had a good thing going with her first girlfriend, Naomi, but Pam may not be the best person for her to try again with. Let her find someone sweet and loving, like her Buffy the Vampire Slayer namesake Tara McClay. Bon Temps has the perfect graveyard setting for their loving serenades.
6. Bring Sarah Newlin Back Gay
One of the best things about season six was the return of Sarah “I Turn Up Like A Bad Penny” Newlin, the twisted and ego-mad evangelist. After being spared death by a bloodshed-weary Jason, she sped off into the sunrise. Now that we’ve lost our resident gayer-than-a-bloody-rainbow vampire – her ex-husband Steve – it seems fitting, not to mention awesome and sexy, to imagine her falling in love with a cool, Shane-esque drifter she meets on the run. It would definitely give her something else to be fanatical about and would raise more than a few eyebrows if she returns to Bon Temps.
7. Female Writers and Directors
One thing that should be applauded about season six of True Blood is the fact that half of its ten episodes were written by women. This is reflected in the interesting, multi-layered female characters, as well as in the balance of male/female gaze – pretty much everyone is naked and sexy at some point, no gender gap there. We hope this female representation continues in the writing ranks and spreads to the directing sphere, since not a single episode in season six was directed by a woman.
8. Give Pam Some Independence
The recent scenes with Pam being psychoanalysed were some of her best – why? Because Eric was no where in sight – though even here she couldn’t resist talking about him. As proven through the interwebs, fans adore Eric, but we adore Pam too and her pathological obsession with vamp-daddy is so three seasons ago. We know that you’re going to send her to save him from the sun’s penetrating rays because, frankly, who else cares about Mr Northman that much? But perhaps once she brings him back from the edge of death, she can get on with her own life (bonus points if that includes a special lady vamp friend).
9. Put Sookie Centre Stage
Perhaps due to the fact that Anna Paquin was having a million babies (OK, two) we didn’t see as much of Sookie this past season. We miss her pro-active approach in the face of danger and her inability to be shaken by even the most terrifying villains. We’re perfectly happy that she has found some kind of normalcy with Alcide – although she can hear his every thought and he turns into a wolf so, y’know, normal is relative – but we hope there’s a lot more agency and self-sufficiency for Sookie this season. Damsel does not suit her.
10. Gay Sex, Please
True Blood is known, even by those who don’t watch, for its explicit and boundary-pushing sex scenes and we applaud this sex positive attitude. But despite the presence of queer characters like Tara, Pam, Lafayette, Jesus and Queen Sophie-Anne, we have never seen a same-sex couple get down and dirty in quite the raw, primal fashion the show is famous for. We assure you, queer people can have hot sex too! How about giving us some awesome, naughty sapphic scenes to watch over and over?
From its inception as the brainchild of Alan Ball to the time-skippy season six finale, True Blood has been a sexy, inclusive romp we’ve grown to truly love. We hope its final season will do that justice.
Yours faithfully,
The Queer Fans xoxo