Adding those special touches to your ceremony.
Incorporating meaningfulness and a sense of the sacred into your ceremony can be quite easy! Many couples are excited to include traditions that parents or other special family members may have used within their own weddings. Other brides and grooms-to-be choose faith-based rituals that are particularly symbolic. And others ask their officiant for thoughts and ideas, during the planning process. Personalizing these special moments will certainly help make your wedding day that much more authentic and meaningful, for you & your partner, as well as for your guests. These intimate rituals provide a sense of the commitment you’re entering into on this wonderful day; they also offer a sense of the marriage you’re creating into the future.
Pouring of the Sand
Each partner chooses a particular color of sand in advance; these are prepared and wait in small containers near the altar or with the officiant. During the ceremony, the couple pours their individual collection of sand together into one larger vase, creating a symbolic union of their independent lives as they become one. Allowing children of either or both partners to participate in this ritual is a touching way to include them in the creation of this new commitment within the family.
A unity bowl may be used instead of sand, in which colored marbles are placed into a bowl or vase. The couple, their children, parents and any other chosen family members or friends are invited to participate. This symbolizes the involvement of the entire family circle in supporting the marriage. The filled bowl is then kept in the couple’s home.
Handfasting
This tradition dates back to Old Europe (many cite the Celts), and was often used for the betrothal, prior to the actual marriage. Today, many traditions incorporate this ritual in some form during the wedding ceremony. It can be altered somewhat as best suits the couple’s particular beliefs.
Very simply, the officiant leads with an introduction of the handfasting and then wraps a cord around the brides’ or grooms’ hands, signifying their unity on this, their wedding day. In many traditions, the officiant will fasten the hands with the cord belted around his or her own waist, or a scarf he or she is wearing. This symbolizes the inclusion and blessing of God or a Higher Power within the union.
The cord used may be a wonderful keepsake! It can be handmade by the couple themselves, a special friend, or many can be purchased through a specialty company online.
Jumping of the Broom
Sweeping away the old, welcoming the new!
This tradition began in Africa, but its original meaning has been somewhat lost, particularly due to the association of the ritual during the time of slavery. Originations may be based on the broom’s shape itself: the top representing the group of the wedding party or village, somewhat scattered, and the handle of the broom representing the Almighty, who binds all together. During the time of slavery, the unions between African Americans were not considered legally binding; the symbolic ‘jumping of the broom’ connected couples with their African heritage and helped legitimize their commitment on a deeper, spiritual level and, within their own community, thus sanctioned the relationship.
This of course translates quite naturally to the commitments today between gay & lesbian partners, and is a particularly meaningful tradition that honors the past and calls in the sacredness of the marriage in a way that seems timeless.
The Red Rose Ceremony
At the closing of the wedding, some couples enjoy a simple exchange of festive red roses. This moment accents “the first gift” and, being roses, symbolizes that each partner is once again stating their love for the other. It can be quite a beautiful and heartfelt exchange.
Butterfly Release
According to an American Indian legend, when making a wish, one must whisper the message in secret to a butterfly. Key to the story is the freeing of the butterfly, so that it is enabled to reach the Great Spirit and pass along the hopeful message. The Great Spirit, glad that the butterfly has been freed, always grants the wish.
As the wedding party gathers to witness the butterfly release on behalf of a special couple, they are reminded that in fact all wishes taken to heaven in this way shall be granted. With this confidence and light-spirited joy for the newlyweds, all ceremony guests are invited to make their wishes (either silently or aloud) and the butterflies are set free.
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Image courtesy: Todd Gilman Photography, featuring Jay & Angel’s Beachside Wedding in St Petersburg FL
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RainbowWeddingNetwork.com has been the trusted wedding resource for the LGBT community since 1999. Along with the diverse services through their website, the company produces an ongoing national tour of LGBT Wedding Expos. Additional wedding & parenting related articles are available through the site: www.RainbowWeddingNetwork.com
Author Marianne Puechl is the co-founder of RainbowWeddingNetwork. Her recently published novel, The Locket, is available through her website: www.MariannePuechl.com