I’ve been writing the Hook-Up blog for almost a year now—or at least the events in my first post (my London affair) took place in mid-summer 2008. I’ve been through a lot of changes since then: a hysterectomy, anonymous sex, online personals, serial dating, some ex-girlfriend dyke drama, and then meeting someone about whom I care very deeply and with whom I am now involved in an exclusive relationship.
Anonymous, who commented on my last post, “The Hook-Up Blog doesn’t work anymore” is right. “I” am now a “we”—well to some extent. Contrary to that same poster’s concern that I’ll be writing “standard relationship stuff, which is overdone” I am instead beginning, along with my newly monogamous relationship, a new blog: Hooked Up.
My posts on Hooked Up will be anything but business as usual in lesbian relationship-land. Far from “overdone” I will tell it like it is from a healthy and mature point of view of one (and sometimes two) 40-something lesbian finding “lurv” in middle age.
As my girlfriend and I like to say, we are taking back the fun. The fun we missed—or just didn’t have—being in abusive, unfun and unsatisfying relationships, monogamous and non, in our 20s and 30s.
We’re not about planning ceremonies or raising children, picking out china or merging and isolating. We are two productive, artistic and engaged lesbians. What are also not into (and this blog will not be about) being joined at the hip, becoming queer bookends or hibernating in a shared abode—or even just sitting on our respective couches in our respective Brooklyn apartments night after night. Rather Hooked-Up will be about how I (along with my girlfriend) navigate around the pitfalls of dyke relationships to create a joyful partnership full of wild and ongoing sex, artistic collaboration and support, emotional growing and stretching, setting and respecting boundaries, and not moving too fast—into one or another’s apartment….
I’m ready for a new season of my life to begin. I hope you’ll stick around with me to find out how it unfolds.