When the body speaks, shut up and listen.
There was a time when I perceived the levels of wetness my lover was able to elevate me to as a sign of her aptitude in the arena of foreplay and nothing more. However I was young during this time of my life and I must admit that I cared more about “getting-off” than I cared about the ins and outs involved in “getting off”. Now that I have matured, for a lack of a better word (insert laughter here), I’ve realized that the way my body bends to the curvature of her hand, shakes to the sound of her voice, or how I must press my thighs together to prevent the wetness from seeping through my panties when she is nowhere near me, is more than simple foreplay, but rather the effects of effective communication. And now that I am armed with this information I scoff at anyone who claims that sex doesn’t matter in a relationship.
Merriam Webster dictionary describes communication as, “the act or process of using words, sounds, signs, or behaviors to express or exchange information or to express your ideas, thoughts, feelings, etc., to someone else.” But when it comes to sex, unless you’re screwing a dictionary, you probably couldn't care less about this definition. However the process can be intriguing so I beg you to lend me your ear for a moment. Close your eyes, okay one eye, because I need you to continue reading, and think back to the last time you had earth-shattering sex. What made her body cum on your strap, the tips of your fingers, the shaft of your thigh, or your flicking tongue? Now flip her over. What made your heart skip a beat or your eyes roll to the back of your head as the heat of her body grazed your flesh? What made you cum and when you both reached new heights of ecstasy, what was it that allowed the moans to escape from both of your mouths. Take your hand, run it down the inside of your thigh and as your eyes slowly close, think of her and grab taunt her memory; I won’t tell. What was it about her? Having trouble putting it into words? Eureka! That’s the essence of nonverbal sensual communication. Words may not be spoken, but when you are in-synch, your bodies respond as if you are in a deep conversation.
This is the portion of this type of conversation where I would usually tell my readers how to do something or what-not. However, it is my firm belief that you cannot teach someone how to be good in bed. Either you’re good at giving or receiving, have the potential to be, or you simply aren’t. But don’t fret the one great thing about sex is that it’s one of those activities that you can get better at with time. Nevertheless I do have a suggestion, shut the hell up and listen. It is really that simple. Embrace one another and allow your bodies to do all the talking instead of your mouths, unless of course you’re focusing on the nether regions in which case this would be a totally different article.
Remember the definition I mentioned earlier? Essentially communication is the exchanging of information. While in the throws of passion, communication doesn’t stop, however the way in which it is exchanged and received may change from verbal to nonverbal communication. When this change occurs we must engage our other senses. But if we are too busy looking solely at the act itself, we are missing out on the chance to engage in a sensual conversation with our lover and connect with them on a level that we do not have an opportunity to engage in on a day-to-day basis.
I don’t know about the rest of you but I’m a hands on type of girl. So how would you feel if I gave you a little homework assignment to bring all of this information home? I have this theory, after 6 p.m. most businesses have closed so the bills can wait to be paid until tomorrow and the time clock is punched. The only thing left to do is cook dinner and have sex. (Hey it’s my fantasy so let me have it.) Let’s pretend that my perfect world exist and in this world I have sent you all a get out of jail free card. This means that once you and your partner go in the bedroom or on that new couch, in the backseat, spare bedroom, wherever, it’s just you and her and nothing else matters. And as such you will not speak. Your bodies will vibe, your fingers will trace, your toes will graze, you will breathe for one another, your nipples will rise, your chest may writhe in unison, your hairs will commingle, your wetness will run rampant, and you will speak in tongues. And as I do my homework along with you I will be reminded why I think silence is the loudest of words man could have ever conjured and I will lay next to my lover out of breath hoping that you are thinking the same thing. Yes, for your homework assignment I am asking you to lock yourself up with your lover and have hours on end of passionate love making until you can hear her body and she can hear yours in ways you have long forgotten. Who knows, maybe it will open the door to better communication outside of the bedroom.
Happy communicating my loves!