December Horoscope

There are delightful gifts that come in all size boxes this December as a rush of planets move through Sagittarius into Capricorn. What will Santa’s elves stuff into your stocking? Ho ho ho.

Aries (March 21-April 20)

Grab your gal pals and take off on a vacation for parts unknown. You deserve a winter break to warmer climes. Did I say “warmer”? I meant hot, hot, hot! Lambda Rams are ready to churn and burn and almost any lady will do. Try to be discerning. Don’t ruin a perfectly good friendship with a quick and audacious fling. Make it last …. and last….. whew!

Taurus (April 21-May 21)

Holiday office parties are rife with sexual opportunity, if that is what you are looking for. It is so easy to slide into the nearest supply room to check the merchandise after one-too-many drinks. But is this what you really want, Taurus? Will it be a quick advancement via the quick hand? They should love you for your mind and abilities. But I guess your bodacious bod isn’t bad either.

Gemini (May 22-June 21)

Lovergrrls need some time and attention this December so be sure that you carve out the time to give them what they want. Geminis are flirtatious and love to flit from clit to clit. But settling on one special flower will make you happier in the long term. New Years Eve is not that far away and you should be planning your own adoring Eve festivities now.

Cancer (June 22-July 23)

Concentrating on your health and exercise regime could lead to great short and long term benefits. You can buff and fluff while you reduce your overall stress level. Of course there might be even better ways to reduce your stress. Try exercising with a certain buxom babe and see how you can lower your stress and maximize your short and long term fringe benefits.

Leo (July 24-Aug 23)

Unleash the party hounds and sniff out all the best holiday bashes. You are welcome at even the most exclusive events and will reign supreme. Regal Lionesses command everyone’s attention and even gain some adoring fangrrls. Show them how it is done with pride. Ah but as the evening winds down, will you be the one dancing with a lampshade hat? Or is that some crazy Libra?

Virgo (Aug 24-Sept 23)

Virgos may find themselves staying closer to home this December and why not? Your surroundings provide a warm coziness and sense of contentment. So you don’t have to travel far to enjoy the holidays. Plan some intimate get togethers at home this festive season. Bring out the champagne and ring in the new year with a short list of lovelies. Oh ring-a-ding!

Libra (Sept 24-Oct 23)

Have something to say? Say it loud and proud this December, Libra. And I know that no matter how incendiary your opinions are, you will find a way to sugarcoat them so the masses will swallow it. Plan on taking your ideas to the next global step. Today the local community hot spot. But tomorrow the world!

Scorpio (Oct 24-Nov 22)

December pays off in more ways than one this December. Strategic Scorpios who have carefully mapped out their financial future will reap the benefits. And for those who need more time to plan, make the time to plan for the future. Life is more than a few pieces of expensive arm candies and champagne. There are also chocolates.

Sagittarius (Nov 23-Dec 22)

This is your season to shine, Sagittarius. Check out the party scene and elbow your way into new exclusive social circles. Then see if you can become the gravitational force that pulls all the lesser planets into your orbit. Before you know it you will be not only in the know but the one to know.  Plot your eventual world domination attracting one great celestial body at a time.

Capricorn (Dec 23-Jan 20)

Have a gossipy secret that you are dying to share with someone? Whisper away, Capricorn, and get the rumor mills chugging along. This December will prove to be exciting, dramatic and passionate so don’t be afraid to push things to the Outer limits. Heck, only Santa knows if you have been naughty or nice and he isn’t spilling the beans.

Aquarius (Jan 21-Feb 19)

Girlfriends have some great holiday celebration ideas and can get you into mischief this December. So let them lead you into temptation as well as an assortment of festive A-lister parties. Instead of loitering under the mistletoe looking for a bite, be bold, Aqueerius. Hop on Vixon and see the world from a rarified height. Avoid low flying planes and zeppelins.

Pisces (Feb 20-March 20)

While others loll around and wait for the year to end, Guppies can make use of this time to plan their corporate ascent and eventual entrance into the oligarchy.  You hold the strategic advantage and have some rare opportunities to shine among the powerbrokers. So strike while the iron is blazing hot and go and singe some suits. Heh, heh.

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