Menage-a-Box
For some, three’s a crowd. But for others, three’s a party. And a party’s always better with a little planning.
As the party-planning couple, first figure out who to invite. Your ex shouldn’t be anywhere near this list.
If you choose a random person, you can team up with your partner to sexually-hunt-and-consensually-destroy that cutie at the club without risking an existing friendship. Dating sites are great mediums for random-scoping and give everyone a chance to explicitly state their intentions. Practice those safer-sex and safer picking-up processes.
Choosing a friend can be extra-sticky (in good and bad ways). Friend pros include your personal comfort with them and trusting their level of respect for you and your partner’s relationship. The main con, of course, is risking your friendship. Ask yourself, “Why this friend?” Have you always wondered how they are in the sack? Or is this revenge sex for that time she stole your prom date? Be honest…
An acquaintance (no, not a co-worker!), offer the best of both worlds. You know they’re not some serial threesome killer, but it won’t be the worst if you never see them again.
Agree on some boundaries. What’s allowed? Kissing, penetration, her favorite move it took you months to master? Are certain body parts, actions or toys off-limits? Who’s allowed to do what to whom?
Certainly, we don’t have to twist your arm to picture your own threesome. Yes, it looks gooooooood, but also think about the iffy scenarios. What if Third Wheel does that thing you know your lady loves so much? Do you go into a fit of rage? Or is it hot seeing her get it from someone else? Talk openly with your partner about your fears and offer reassurance, but don’t forget that this threesome thing is supposed to be hot! Share your fantasies, too, especially during particularly, ahem, climactic moments.
If you’re the third wheel to a couple, your challenge is to strike a balance between getting your own needs met and following the leader(s). A pre-threesome coffee date can get everyone on the same page before everyone gets naked.
Three female-bodies taking a roll in the gay threeway hay offers particular challenges. The way our many lovely orifices line up with the how and where of our penetrative and oral tools can be tricky to simultaneously align. Brainstorm what one person might do when the other two are otherwise engaged. Having a little sit-and-watch self-pleasure time or being a make-out fill-in are trusty stand-bys but getting more creative about ways to keep everyone integrated ahead of time can pay off.
Including toys in your threeway is a great way to expand possibilities but requires extra attention to cleaning, sharing, and ye old lesbian emotional attachment to HER SPECIAL dildo. Generally, go heavy on the lube and light on the alcohol.
The sun does come up eventually. What happens post-threesome? Does Third Wheel sleep over? Will there be encores? Have you determined how to appropriately deal with any unplanned feelings for Third Wheel that may arise? Establish a threesome aftercare program for you and your partner that involves reconnecting through things you only do with each other.
When done right, a threesome can actually bring a couple closer together: enjoy new sexual experiences with new genders, body types, and sexual personas within the loving safety of your primary relationship, remind yourself how hot your partner is, see her get off from a whole new angle, explore how far an extra set of hands can really go and use this shared experience as sexy foder for your fresh-faced sexual future.