Keeping an Long Distance Relationships strong can be hard work
The world is a huge place, and whether you believe in soul mates or not, it’s ridiculous to think that the love of your life is going to live just down the road.
Of course, the internet, and apps, and such have made it easier on us, but long distance relationships are hard and intense by nature. So here are some tips to help your love transcend the distance.
Keep A Journal Together
In her agonisingly charming way, my girlfriend produced a journal for us to share on our first date. We laughed bashfully about how lame it was, but it’s turned out to be the best thing we’ve ever done.
In this journal, we write letters to each other when we’re apart. We always start our entries with a recount of our latest get-together (for the grandchildren to read, obviously) and how we felt together. This is amazing in dispelling the doubt that arises in separation- when you’re in the moment together, you can feel safe and loved, but after two weeks, sometimes that little bastard Doubt starts to creep in. Being able to read her personal reflection about how she felt with me is the best (BEST) remedy.
We then drift into what’s on our mind, and moments that have made us think about the other. Then, when we next see each other, the journal changes hands and it’s the other’s turn.
Texts are one thing, but it is so comforting to have her handwriting on my nightstand for when I’m feeling particularly vulnerable. It’s a vessel of love and emotional truth that’s uniquely hers and mine.
Snapchat Your Day
If she can’t be by your side while you run your menial errands, then Snap them to her. There’s not much better than sitting down in a quiet moment to check out what your girl has been up to that day. It’s quicker and less strenuous on the fingertips than typing a summary of your day in text, and if you Snap as you go, she’ll get to see all the little things you get up to that she’d want to be there to share with you.
Now, errands was just an example, but the beauty of Snapchat is that you have complete freedom to tailor your Snap conversations to your relationship. For us? Our Snapchats are largely Can You Believe This Political Shit, and Look At This Dog I Saw Today.
Set Up A Date Night
The beauty of the internet is that you can have a movie night together no matter where you are.
For those of you in the same country, or who know your way around Netflix’s geo-restrictions, Showgoers on Google Chrome is going to be your best mate. All you have to do is each download the extension, and you can watch Netflix perfectly in sync with each other, and text chat at the same time. The best bit is that anybody can manage the playback controls, but the downside is that there’s no video chat, so typing your chat is a little annoying, but there’s always internet-based voice chats like Facebook and Whatsapp to run simultaneously.
It’s hard enough to choose what to watch on Netflix without international borders restricting your choices, so for those across borders and oceans, Gaze is going to be for you. It lets you watch YouTube or files from your computer in sync, and has a handy video chat out of the way, so that you can communicate easily. The only downfall is that, to watch a file, you all have to have the identical file on your computers, but with Dropbox and the like, that’s not too bad. It’s easy to set up and a personal favourite of mine.
Set Up a Flights Fund
Finding the coin to travel to see each other is a struggle, especially if the distance is huge, so a good way to ensure you can visit every now and again is to set up a shared fund to pay for flights. You can do this either electronically on a site like Paypal, or pop a nice little jar in each of your rooms.
How much you contribute is up to you- you can either divide it up equally, or base it off each of your incomes, whatever works for you. The important thing is to make sure that it does work for you- be open and honest about how much you feel happy contributing, and talk it out until you both come to a mutual agreement. When it comes to money, bottled up frustration is a ticking time bomb.
The best thing about regularly contributing to a flight fund is that the cost of travel isn’t taking a huge chunk out of your bank account all at once. It also means that you’re both contributing equally to seeing each other, because flight prices fluctuate a lot, and taking it in turns to pay for flights doesn’t tend to end up equal.
Share a Social Media Account
Spend some time putting together a shared Twitter or Instagram account. In doing so, you can create a space that’s uniquely yours and accessible pretty much any time. You can post photos from when you are together, and post things for her to see when she logs on. Again, it’s a space to make completely yours.
It’s also a great archive of your time together, and how your relationship has evolved over time.