Baby Bi Bi Bi is a wickedly funny, often filthy cabaret about being a bisexual woman.
Complete with entirely original music, boasting titles such as “Do I Wanna Be You (Or Do I Wanna Fuck You?)”, “Salad with the Girls, But in a Gay Way” and “Portable Closet”. Baby Bi Bi Bi explores the questions we’re still asking ourselves and the questions we wish Brent Dongus would stop asking us at parties.
Because when you like your men like you like your women… sometimes people need a little clarification. So strap in or strap on for a show that finally answers all of those pesky questions, without a hint of sarcasm…. we promise.
Warning: Contains strong coarse language, sustained loud noises, potentially triggering content or themes, including Sexual References
10 Things We Wish Brent Knew
We’ve all met a Brent, he’s someone’s high school friend, rocking a Ralph button up, a budding post-graduation beer gut and he’s a really good bloke when you get to know him… Oddly after finding out that you’re Bisexual he really wants to get to know you!
So, for anyone who knows a Brent or will be meeting one soon, here are the ten questions you’ll get asked and the answers you wish you didn’t have to give.
-
“Oh! So you’re like actually Bi?”
Yes Brent, I really am that elusive, unicorn of a porn subcategory, Bi. We do exist and let’s get the ball rolling on why that question makes my skin crawl. Using the word ‘actually’ implies that there are people who aren’t ‘actually’ Bi, why? Do you think people lie about this? Do you think people can’t be Bi? Do you think this is a fashion statement or a grab for attention?
I think you’re ‘actually’ an idiot.
-
“Would you like to have a threesome?”
Brent… My poor dear… you need to learn a thing or two about boundaries.
I may have had a threesome before, I may not have. I may have had maaany. Irrelevant! This is not a conversation I want to have with you, strange inquisitive man that I just met.
PLUS! Don’t give me that bull-hockey that you ask for 100 threesomes and you get one its pretty good odds. No. 1% does not constitute good odds. Stop making people feel weird.
-
“Are you single? Because my friend’s housemate is gay, you two should totally date!”
Why Brent? Do we share the same interests, goals and dreams? Does she also love macramé, baking and turn of the century Russian poetry? Or is she just the only other gay woman you know.
-
“Have you slept with more men than women?”
Brent let me tell you a little something about how problematic that question is. Being Bi is not about ratios or keeping score. Even if I had slept with more men than women, or the other way around or no one at all! I would still know that I was Bi.
P.s. your ideas of gender are hella limited.
-
“Who’s better in bed, Men or Women?”
Every experience is individual and no two people are the same.
But I can give you a hint. It is not you… It will never be you.
-
“But you’ll marry a man right?”
First of all, I don’t have to end up with anyone. However, if it just so happens I am in a loving relationship with a man (which if you’re into ~ratios~ is 50% likely!!) and wanted to tie the knot, I would have a male husband. But, much to the cake topper industries dismay, and your disappointment, I could also have a wife. I would never consciously decide to “marry a man.” Is it that crazy to think you could marry someone based on their personality?
#Notallweddings
-
“What kind of porn do you watch?”
I am a dainty lady. If someone could tell me how the ~~Internet~~ worked I would be able to tell you.
-
“You’d totally come to the strip club with me and the boys?”
Hard pass. Thanks for now considering me worthy because I have something in common with “Da Boiz.” But you guys chanting “BOYS! BOYS! BOYS!” At the top of your lungs next to me sounds kinda boring. If I go to a strip club I want to rain dollaz with a group I know will be respectful of the workers.
-
“But what do girls, like, even do?”
We lie fully clothed in bed, flat on our backs and wait for someone, ANYONE to tell us what to do next.
P.s. if you think sex is just P entering V I pity the people you’ve slept with.
-
“Urghhh that’s Hot.”
Not a question. An opinion.
They do say opinions are like arseholes… I don’t want to see yours!
I would choose to walk away now but we’re at the food table. So you need to leave.