Hoping to learn more about my newfound ability to ejaculate from the experts themselves, I signed up to attend the Masturbate-a-thon (masturbate-a-thon.com), an annual fundraiser for the Center for Sex and Culture in San Francisco.
Having spent all Sunday afternoon in an anti-oppression legal activist training seminar, Bearly Legal and I welcomed the much needed change of scenery. Joined by his boyfriend, The Bear, we meandered from room to room watching less masturbation than I had hoped for.
Arriving just in time for the squirt competition, we watched as a quirky kinkster unrolled a sheet of white paper for the competitors to, um, compete on.
Moving to closer seats, I sat down next to who I eventually recognized as porn star Tina Horn, wearing the sexiest jockstrap ever that accentuated her amazing ass and contradicted the femininity of the rest of her ensemble.
After waiting half an hour, it was clear no one was going to step up to the plate to compete. The only person who was still masturbating was the same over-tanned man that’s always jerking off at these events, and apparently he didn’t have any bullets left in his gun.
Turning, highly disappointed, to Tina Horn—who was sitting on fellow porn star Roger Wood’s lap—I asked her if she knew what was going on in the other room.
I almost squealed when she told me that Courtney Trouble of NoFauxx.com was about shoot two porn scenes in front of a live audience, the first with April Flores and the second with Jiz Lee and Nina Hartley.
Practically running, I made my way to the other room just in time to get one of the last seats in the viewing area.
There, in all their sexual glory, were some of the top queer adult entertainers in the industry. These performers opened my eyes to gender bending sexuality, forced me to question my own sexual stereotypes and are the images I turn to when my straight friends ask how us lesbians “do it.”
Having studied cinema as an undergrad, I was fascinated with the dynamics on set, and probably paid too much attention to the lighting and camera angles considering there were naked persons exploring each other right before me.
I’m sorry to say that April Flores’s scene was uninspiring. When she was on her own, it was spectacular, but I wasn’t impressed with her bio-male partner’s lack of spark. As much as he stated his excitement, his body seemed apathetic to be there, and I can’t support anyone who is apathetic about having sex with the glorious April Flores.
Nina Hartley and Jiz Lee, however, were utterly spectacular.
Jiz Lee (who goes by the pronouns they/them) did yoga on set to warm up and was adorably excited about getting to have sex with the famous Nina Hartley. They even shaved for the occasion, a rarity for the usually au natural Jiz Lee.
Nina Hartley, always the educator, talked her way through the whole experience and I cheerfully left with some new techniques to try out.
After Nina Hartley and Jiz Lee finished their sexcapades, director Courtney Trouble handed over her camera and sat on the fabulous shell shaped couch, shoes off and legs open. One thing led to another, and soon the 5 member cast of the porn was on top of her pleasing in every way possible.
And there, in that wonderfully organic orgy, I finally got to see someone ejaculate.
Thank you, Courtney Trouble, for making my sex dreams come true.
Blogger Bio: Queerie Bradshaw loves shoes, social justice and sex. Born a farmer’s daughter, she believes everyone deserves a good roll in the hay, and feels empowered by her feminine sexuality. She frequently travels both domestically and abroad, exploring women and wine from all regions. Now a law student who dances burlesque on the side, she fights for international rights to life, liberty, and the pursuit of good porn. You can visit her website at QueerieBradshaw.com, follow her on Twitter (twitter.com/QueerieBradshaw) and become a fan of hers on Facebook.
Photo: J. Robert Williams