Kick-start Your Libido by Liz Stinger will help you understand what libido is.
This little book is a quirky enterprise—part self-help book, part promotion for the author’s range of libido products. There are eleven chapters each offering either background information of what libido actually is, or advice on how to firstly get in touch with your own libido, and then learn to make the most of it.
The first chapter, outlining the Victorian theory of female hysteria that led to the invention of the vibrator, is amusing and a good way to kick things off. It shows how far women have come since then in owning their own sexual selves. Whilst the next couple of chapters have more of an emphasis on female-male sexual attraction and partnerships, the information and advice contained in the majority of the pages after that are equally applicable to female-female relationships.
Libido is something that fluctuates in each of us, either from week to week, or over the years, as we age and our bodies and circumstances change. What Stringer is keen to emphasize is that just because we may have hit a low point in our sexual drive, that doesn’t mean it’s beyond rescuing. The simple advice and exercises she sets out in the rest of the book aim to help that process. I appreciated the inclusion of a chapter dedicated to women who had become mothers, as that fundamentally alters a woman’s body and her priorities in life. I also thought it was useful to see some empowering words on owning your own libido—learning what you want from sex, and not leaving it up to your partner to guess, is fundamental to a happy sex life.