The coming out journey of a multifaceted mom.
The life I lead is without a doubt an interesting one. I’ve seen and communicated with spirits since I can remember. It was something that frightened me when I was young. At 15, I graduated high school and began pursuing higher education, thinking that if I just chased the “rational,” perhaps I’d stop having the experiences I had. I graduated with three bachelor’s degrees and a master’s degree and began teaching political philosophy by the age of 21.
I was married to a man by the age of 17 and had my first child at the age of 20. I did everything I was told would make me happy and “normal.” But, nothing really felt right. I suffered from severe depression. I had a second child. Those boys saved my life. They were the only thing that gave me any hope that I was doing anything right—anything for myself.
After thirteen years of being married, I decided that life didn’t have to feel so empty. I decided to get a divorce. I always knew I was a lesbian. I’d never been attracted to men. I’d only ever been attracted to women. It was time for me to really be true to myself.
I was 30 years old when I came out to my family, friends, and community. With two boys under arm, I lost everything material—house and all. I lost every one of my friends. And, for a while, I lost my family (or at least part of it).
During this time, I took my boys to an ice cream social that was a local fundraiser for women who suffer from domestic violence and abuse. When Jodi walked in, my world turned upside down. She had an air of confidence, a touch of cockiness, and this strength that made me crazy.
And yet, she had a vulnerability in her eyes that touched my heart. It was such a stark dichotomy. It was then that I fell for her, and boy, I fell hard.
We began seeing each other, and everything just fell into place… Well, almost everything. One night at around 2 a.m., I was awoken by a spirit. It scared me more that I’d have to tell Jodi about what was happening than the actual encounter itself. She’d been sleeping beside me and woke up with my stirring.
Rubbing her eyes, she sat up and said, “What’s going on?” “Um, well, there’s a man in the room!” I blurted out. “What the f***?!” she exclaimed as she jumped out of bed, looking around for something that she could hit him with.
“No, no. I’m sorry. It’s a spirit. There’s a male spirit in here. He’s crouched in the corner,” I explained, red in the face. “Holy sh**! That scared me! What do you mean there’s a spirit in here?” She breathed a huge sigh of relief and collapsed back onto the bed.
I explained everything to her. I couldn’t even look her in the eyes as I divulged the fact that I could see people who’ve passed away and that sometimes I just know things that are going to happen. I was so afraid she’d just walk away, thinking I was crazy.
But, to my surprise and relief, she put her arms around me and held me as I cried. She told me that it was amazing that I had that gift and that I needed to stop being afraid of it. She told me I needed to learn about it.
Jodi inspired and gave me the courage to do just that. I’d never had anyone blindly believe in me like that. And so, my journey soon began: I realized that I was supposed to do this work full time, so I gave up an executive career to do so and I’ve never looked back.
On a daily basis, I have the amazing opportunity to help people heal from loss and pain. It has its challenges, too, such as being interrupted by spirits at inopportune times. Jodi and my boys can tell you of many times I’ve been in mid-conversation with them when I stop and start talking to a spirit.
They come to me for help, and so, I give them my attention when they need it. It’s like having constant guests in your home that you cannot see. It makes my family a little crazy, but we can laugh about it.
We have an interesting life. My love, Jodi, is an amazing and beautiful soul. She is a hilarious, arachnophobic exterminator. My 15-year-old son just came out. He dresses in Victorian-era clothing and is so completely himself. He inspires me.
And, my 12-year-old son is a little comedian who is obsessed with videogames and has Type I diabetes. His sweet and quiet strength is something that I so admire. We laugh often and celebrate our uniqueness. The biggest lesson I’ve learned is that life is so good when you live your truth. Just be you completely, whoever that is. Be brave. Be inspired. And, inspire others.