Roxy was straight, married with children , but wanted to sleep with a woman
This is their journey:
ROXY: God. The last thing I felt like doing was calling my parents to tell them I had left Jack for a woman. And I was right. I ended up dodging no less than a full round of bullets straight from the US. They thought I had lost the plot.
GIA: After my mother’s death at the age of 14, my attitude towards life changed. At such a young and impressionable age, I had decided that life was too short to live a lie. At the time, I wasn’t entirely sure what the truth was, but what I did have confidence in, was my interest in ‘girls’
ROXY: I made the call to my dad and stepmom first, thinking it was going to be an easier one than my mom because they both have gay siblings. Not even close. No one got it. No one listened. All I could hear coming back at me was, “What about the kids?” My mom was the same. But her first words were, “You had an affair with a woman?” I really couldn’t believe that there was no interest in understanding what I had been going through or what I was feeling. It was just an emergency switch that I activated that sent every family member into immediate alert.
GIA: It took me a number of years to acknowledge that my ‘truth’ was actually identifying myself as ‘gay’. When I accepted my sexuality, I clawed my way out of the closet with a big roar. My family were very supportive with no judgment. We had lost my mother and sister before I came out, so we all had the attitude of ‘life is short’ and treated one another with HUGE value and respect. Our loss, built up our strong bond. My girlfriends were welcomed with open arms as Aunty, Sister, Sister-In-Law – to them, family was FAMILY.
ROXY: I spent the next two weeks blasting my family to the high heavens for not trusting who I was as a person. I was so shocked, angry, exhausted and determined.
GIA: I found it very difficult to sit back & watch the treatment that Roxy’s family were putting her through. My ex-girlfriends had all been openly gay with supportive families so this was new territory for me. It was heart wrenching to watch the woman I was in love with, kick, scream & fight for something I thought should be celebrated. I couldn’t understand how ‘family’ could judge, so had no idea how to deal with it.
ROXY: The problem was my entire family was in love with Jack. He charmed every one of them to pieces. It was absurd to them that I couldn’t work out my marriage for the sake of the kids. Part of me understood their concern being so far away, in the US, and not really seeing things for themselves. But on the other side, I was a 36 yr old mature adult who knew exactly what I wanted and was completely capable of transitioning my children. Nothing was going to get in the way of this love. I was not afraid of my children learning the power of change, love and happiness.
GIA: Being a staunch lesbian with very strong views and a stubborn nature, I fought hard to push the ‘out & proud’ stance. Roxy and I fought side by side against her family, but began to get offside with one another. As I pushed her to ‘stand up’, I soon realised this was going to be a long battle. While I wanted to celebrate our love for one another, I struggled to accept that there were always going to be people who would judge our relationship – in this case, it just happened to be her family.
ROXY: Unfortunately the reaction of my parents put immediate pressure on our relationship. Gia not only felt second to Jack but also that my family wasn’t accepting her or us as a gay couple. This became our first hurdle.