Bi girls aren’t the problem, but their men¢â¬and our attitudes¢â¬can be.
What is it about bi-curious women and their heterosexual, male friends or even the idea of heterosexual, male friends that make me uneasy? I’ve been thinking about this since my first Café Au Lait and I’m now four in.
I can’t say that this has always been a concern of mine but I think it’s that underlying “What-If”—what if she decides to date a man again? What If she’s no longer into the thought or idea of dating a woman? What If, What If, What If!
At one point, I thought it was my own insecurity that made me the only lesbian to possibly feel this way but as it turns out, I’m not alone. Just to ensure I wasn’t losing my marbles, I had a quick chat with a couple of random women who identify as lesbians and they too said their partner’s heterosexual, male friends or the idea of this made them uncomfortable.
So…what is it? I think it’s the blatant disrespect I’ve received while being out with my partner. The macho man who looks at me, sees an aggressive woman and wants to compete. What he doesn’t know is I’m a very feminine woman, despite my jeans that don’t show the full shape of my behind or the scent of my Polo Red fragrance. I have no interest in accepting his challenge to battle over whose Calvin Klein’s are bigger. I can’t leave out the man who doesn’t take Lesbian relationships serious with his sarcastic remark of, “Oh…you guys are really a couple?” Seriously, what does that even mean?
It’s these notions that cause my deliberate labeling of every heterosexual man I come in contact with. I know it’s not fair to place a stigma on every man who is attracted to a woman but maybe it’s the man attracted to “my woman” that makes me feel this way. The question then becomes, Is this my own insecurity issue or is this a risk I am taking by dating a bi-curious woman?
I’ve come to the realization that it’s a risk—as in every relationship one will ever enter. I mean, who’s to say your bi-curious partner won’t leave you for another woman. Therefore, I can’t possibly keep her away from every man (woman, or person) she comes in contact with; that’s just ridiculous. It all boils down to trust and allowing Mother Nature to run her course. I believe if you approach every relationship regardless of sexual orientation, and with an open mind, that “What-If” factor can be avoided.
About LaurenAsh
I’m an artist. Whether it’s music, blogging, pretending to be Monet or motivating others, I’m all about creating works of art, from my perspective, to inspire others. I am EverydayGay!
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