What could possibly go wrong in this scenario?
Dear Hot Stuff,
I'm in, what you might call a pickle. I just left my girlfriend of three years after falling in love with her best friend. It's reciprocal (or at least, I think it is). All I know is that I couldn't go on lying to her or myself… Fine, right? Except that the plan backfired and now my ex wants to move down south, taking her best friend (and my new love, with her). I don't know what to do. I don't want either of them to leave. I feel it could be karma.
Clemence, Birmingham
Dear Buggered in Birmingham,
First of all, Buggered, let me say well done on having done the right thing. We can't always control who we fall in love with but we can try and make it right when we realise. I'm sure that leaving your girlfriend for her best friend wasn't easy. I'm also assuming, from the fact that they are still besties, that your ex is unaware of the reasons behind your separation. If not, well, I'm pretty sure they wouldn't be talking and I'm darned positive they wouldn't be moving anywhere together…
Where do you position yourself now in regard to this friendship? On the outside, I'm afraid, Buggered. Your love might be reciprocated by your new girl but the fact that she is capable of saying yes to a major move away from you might reveal otherwise, or at least a different set of priorities. Perhaps it's not such a bad thing. It might be her way of trying to make amends for having unintentionally stolen her BFF's GF. It might be that she's trying to do the right thing and not be a TIT.
I hope it's not too late.
Put yourself in the position of your ex here. A girlfriend who leaves her and who doesn't truthfully explain why and a bestie who has betrayed her. Ouch. I think she needs to know.
Please don't feel I'm judging you, Buggered. You did just that, and badly, but I don't think you're a horrible person. Though at the same time as I applaud your bravery I do think that your only-partial honesty may have done more damage than good. Now everyone is just as buggered. Your ex definitely is, your new girl is torn between a rock and a hard place and you're left on your tod up North.
The way forward needs to be a serious heart to heart with these girls. What do they want? What do you want? Is love still possible or is it too late?
You need to be asking yourself some hard questions, you and this new girl. Do you want to make it work? If yes, then do it – make it happen. If not, was it worth it?
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