Nicole Sanders is the founder and CEO of Ladimax Sports and Fitness, a women’s only gym in Westchester County, New York.
Dear Nicole,
I have been with my partner for 12 years now and frankly, the intimacy has faded. I love her dearly and can't imagine life without her but I want more for the both of us. Our work schedules vary and we never seem to be on the same energy levels. We used to work out and have a very active sex life but now we are in the dreaded holding pattern. We don't know how to make it better.What do we do?
— Signed,Sexless 40-Somethings
Hi Sexless,
I don't think it should really fall on any one person. The person with the busier schedule should not always EXPECT it to come from the one whose schedule is less chaotic. The person who has more gas in her tank starts the engine first and soon there will be two people revved up and ready to go.
There are some things you can do in anticipation of a busier bedtime. Exercise is great for sex. So to that end, here are four exercises that can take you from prudish to passionate before you know it.
Plié:
To have great sex you need to be flexible. Stand with your feet a little wider than hips width apart, toes turned out. Drop your hips down until legs are parallel with the floor. Repeat this 15x, dropping lower with each one.
Salsa Lessons /Zumba:
Nothing says sex more than movements of the hips. It helps you get into a rhythm with your body that will translate to your partner, which translates to hot sex!
Gluteal Bridge:
Great sex requires a give and take of your bodies. That means you must be able to do both at the same time, regardless of intensity, pace or strength. Lay on your back with your knees bent and feet flat on the floor. Slowly raise your hips off of the floor so that your body is a straight diagonal line. Squeeze your glutes at the top and slowly drop down. Repeat 15x.
Strong Lower Abs:
You may already be doing these but the key now is to do them specifically with sex in mind. Lay on your back with legs straight up. Lift your hips off the floor while keeping legs up. Repeat 25x. This is an important one so put the time in.
Keep in mind that you must first exercise the most important muscle and that’s the one between your ears. So start there first. Now go reclaim your sex life!
DO YOU HAVE A QUESTION FOR NICOLE?
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ABOUT NICOLE:
In addition to training clients, Nicole also runs Ladimaxsportsfitness.com, a content-rich website that features news and information about health and fitness. In her spare time, Nicole enjoys traveling and training for physique competitions.