Life is not quite the same without you by my side
What a week we have had in the Robson-Malone family.
We had a blast at Royal Ascot last week, but that's what broke L. Physically broke her! The all-day champagne and prosecco drinking made her pancreas very unhappy, although we didn't realise it at the time. We then headed up to Newcastle with a lovely trip to my most favourite beach in my hometown. The kids loved it and were unaware of the pain L was in. It floored her three times when I said that we really need to go to the hospital, but L being L said she was fine and we went out for a fish and chips tea at the seaside!!
Saturday, her pain continued, which she thought was trapped wind. She took every over-the-counter medicine possible in the hope to get rid of it, but she was still struggling. How on earth she made it through her sister's wedding celebration, even making a speech, I have no idea. She's just another warrior.
In hindsight, it was a blessing that we had the three girls with us at the party, so L wasn't keen on having many drinks as if she had of "gotten on it" with our friends things could've been much worse. Back at our hotel room, which we had squeezed the five of us in, L was in a lot of pain and by 2am she'd decided she really needed to go to hospital. I was wracking my brains for someone who we know and trust, who could look after the girls AND would be sober on a Saturday night and I was stumped. The only person I could think of was working nightshift at the time. So the best I could do to offer support was to order her an uber and track her journey to the hospital.
After a misdiagnosis of gastroenteritis, L returned to the hotel and we drove the six hours home. The journey was awful, although the kids were amazing. L moaned all the way home and not in her usual let's-have-a-whinge-about-everything manner, but physical moaning in agony. We dropped the big girls off on our doorstop with a friend and headed straight to our local hospital.
It's only when we arrived in A and E, with L crying in so much pain, that she tells me she's got blood in her wee and has done since the service station four hours ago, but she didn't want to tell me as she knew I would make her go to the nearest hospital. OMG! Damn right, I would have!!! What a total idiot!! How she managed to sit in the car for all that time just to get us back to our home, and support network, I have no idea. Seriously, she's stronger than an ox this one!
They were quick to try and get her pain sorted and to start the investigations and it was looking really serious. To make it harder, the A and E nurse wasn't keen on the tiniest human being there for the risk of infection and there I was between a rock and a hard place. Absolutely wanting to protect our little baby from anything that can cause her harm, but being so worried and scared for my wife, and soul mate, who needed me. Thankfully, L was moved to a ward quite quickly so I only spent a short time outside a blubbering mess, feeling helpless and pretty useless. To be fair, the whole time I've been feeling pretty useless as there's very little I can do. I guess that will change when she gets home.
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So after a few hours, several blood tests and scans, they diagnosed it as pancreatitis. They've told us it could've been fatal and it's life threatening. It's also caused by alcohol. L was mortified. She doesn't drink every day, or even every week, but when she does have a drink she can put away quite a bit. But she has been reassured that this can happen to anybody. It's just the luck of the draw and this has been one big reality check for her. It means no more alcohol EVER. You that know L will take a few seconds to get your head around that! I really thought that she would be upset about it, but quite the opposite. She said it's the wake up call she needed to turn her life around and to be there for us all. I said it was payback for the last five years, which I've spent pregnant and breastfeeding and her best mate said she can be designated driver next time they jet off to Vegas! Obviously, we are giving her the sympathy she needs!!
After the initial shock and a couple of days, we thought L was getting better, but she deteriorated, which is really common with pancreatitis. So she was moved to a high dependency unit. This was alarming, but as usual L had to make a joke of it. She said, "It's like first class. It's got air conditioning. Lots of nurses. No noise. It's like an upgrade." Well, we couldn't have her slumming it could we? Plus they brought me cups of tea too, so I can't complain and oh how they cooed over Tiny Legs. The staff have been giving her cuddles and getting no work done, making her smile and competing with one another to make her laugh. It's cheered L up no end, brightening her day showing off her baby.
Little Legs and I have spent the majority of the week at the hospital. When L has needed to rest, I've wandered the corridors, stopping off at the restaurant for hot chocolate and daily menu specials, visited the chapel for some quiet time, added L to their prayer tree and sat outside in the courtyard trying to enjoy this lovely sunshine. We have certainly been trying to make the most of an awful situation, plus I have to keep myself busy at times like this.
Slowly, she's been getting better, which is clear as she's annoyed at me for nagging her. I'm sure she's just done this to get some peace to watch the World Cup! I even went to watch the England game with her, thanks to another kind babysitter.
I've had no rest. The days have been long and I had to admit defeat by Thursday when I was feeling tired, emotional and overwhelmed. So when a friend offered to bring dinner on Friday, I let my stubborn personality and pride go and gladly accepted it with open arms. I do not know how I would've managed this week without our support network. Our community strikes again! I've had help with last minute childcare, dropping the children off, feeding the children and entertaining them, meals delivered to the door, constant messages of support and offers of help and lots of lovely hugs just when I need them most. I feel so grateful and blessed to have these wonderful people in our life. When I mention to L what's happening at home or who has the kids or what other act of kindness has occurred, she just cries and says she feels humbled. I have no idea what we have done to deserve these folks. I just hope we can pay it forward somehow.
The latest news is that although L will be unwell for a few weeks, she may be well enough to come home tomorrow. So here I am now running round the house like a nutter trying to get things up to standard for my wife. See, I know when she first gets back she will just glad to be here, but after a day or two it'll be, "Why's this not clean?" "Why hasn't this been done?" And that's fine. I can roll my eyes and bear it for about a week, before I'll be politely telling her to shut up! This is the woman who runs her finger along a surface, then tactically asks about what I've been doing all day! Even cheekier when she's the messiest person I know. But at least for now, I couldn't care less. I just want her better and us back as a family of five.
Hurry home, L. I'm missing my partner in crime and, as much as I can manage fine on my own, I really don't want to. Life is not quite the same without you by my side.
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